The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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