You can't special order awesome
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We left an ass print on the piano.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
