you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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