Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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