I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
