The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just want to make out with him forever
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
