I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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