The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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