So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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