some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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