is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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