It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
