I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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