I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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