xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
