VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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