does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
