Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
