You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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