five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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