i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He did a backflip because drugs
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize