Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize