Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
