Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize