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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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