So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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