Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize