hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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