I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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