So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
