The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
