the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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