Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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