Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
