I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
