This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
