I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
