So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
