Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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