there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
