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• (207): View more from Maine

  You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.

  (207): View more from Maine

  sorry im really high

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.

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• (516): View more from New York

  i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.

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• (949): View more from California

  I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Best not to. Some people need their delusions.

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• (831): View more from California

  I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.

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