HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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