Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
