Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
