so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i drank out of a bidet.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize