Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
