Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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