just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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