Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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