haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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