I'm sorry my penis didn't work
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You took a bar mat shot.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
