Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
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