There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
COCAINE IS GR8
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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