You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
farters have to be the big spoon...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
