Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
