I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
