The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think your dad took our porno
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
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