I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
accomplished twins. life is a go
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
