i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize