dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
