yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
why do cheetos always look like penises
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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