Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
