She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
