i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
