we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
