yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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